One of those things that I have never bought for the house since I moved out is any kind of tools. Its rather annoying having to go and ask my parents to bring a screw driver round just to fix something or a hammer just to put a nail in the wall. Its something I really need to invest in. Some gardening stuff would be nice too. I keep meaning to put some shelves up in the living room for all my DVD’s and CD’s and I was looking at some power tools to help me do this and came across air tools. They look pretty cool but to honest I wouldn’t know what the difference was!

Before I start, I’ll start by saying I’m sorry for not being around much and when I am around its only to do paid blogging. I’m going to try a bit harder from now on and I’ll start with this.

Even though Alex isn’t here, I still have his little girl stay with me. There is no room at his mum’s house for him never mind Emelye as well so since she has her own room and a bed here, its just easier for her to stay with me and then Alex come and get her in the morning. The first week she stayed here without him, everything was fine. She went to bed no problem and was asleep by the time I went upstairs so I left her DS in her bedroom for her to play with in the morning. Last week, I was making her bed and laying her PJ’s out for her to get into and I found her DS under the pillow. I moved it onto the desk in her room and mentioned it to Alex to make sure he checked where it was when he put her to bed. As I had imagined, she’d put it back under her pillow with every intent of playing it in bed. She hadn’t touched it all night when she was downstairs and she’s usually on it from when Meghan goes to bed until she goes to bed. After Alex took the DS off her we had this huge thing about how she was missing her dad and tears and screaming and all this along with Meghan not going to sleep just really pushed me over the edge. I got Alex to speak to her on the phone and calm her down so she’d go to sleep and she eventually did. This week she went to bed perfectly. I went upstairs at about 12.30AM and she looked asleep so I turned her lamp off and left the DS near the door for her to play with when she woke up in the morning. I got all ready for bed and got into bed to read for half an hour. I heard her moving around a bit but just thought it was because she was moving around in her sleep. In the back of my mind I thought she might be getting out of bed to get the DS but I thought I would give her the benefit of the doubt and leave her to it. I got up this morning, got Meghan ready and popped my head into Em’s room to tell her to come downstairs and she was still fast asleep. The DS was by the side of her bed so she had obviously been playing on it to god knows what time. I left her asleep and she still wasn’t awake at 11AM when Alex came round. I don’t understand how she wasn’t asleep by 12.30AM. She went to bed at 9.30PM so she’d been lying awake for three hours waiting for me to come up and bring her DS. Needless to say, she’s not going on it all day and I won’t be leaving it in her room for a long, long time because I just can’t trust her.

What is so bad about going to bed? I’m having a few problems getting Meghan to go to bed at the moment too. The main thing is that she won’t go to bed for anyone but me. Emelye has never been a good sleeper and its always been something that frustrates me. No, I didn’t like going to bed when I was younger but I did. Up until I was about 12, I had to be in bed at 7PM on school nights and at about 8.30PM at the weekends. I can honestly say I never remember doing anything more than reading with a torch but after a while it got so awkward that I just stopped doing it. If I knew I couldn’t go on my Nintendo DS until morning, I would go to sleep sooner so I could get up earlier and have a longer go on it, not stay up until stupid o’clock and be miserable and moody in the morning.

Between me and Alex, we’ve tried everything to get her to go bed. I don’t think she has a set bedtime at home so that doesn’t really help much. She goes to bed here between 9-9.30PM as she’s here at the weekends and there is no exceptions. When me and Alex were living together, we rarely got any time to ourselves because she’d be coming down or crying or generally just being a pain in the arse getting up and making a noise upstairs. Im hoping its something she grows out of because I’m pretty strict when it comes to bedtime and unless you have a decent enough reason to be getting up, you need to stay in bed. And thats it.

I really miss going swimming. We started going in the summer because, well, it was summer. Its a 45 minute walk each way to our ‘local’ leisure centre which although it a rather sweaty walk, its a lot nicer to do it in the summer than in the winter when its raining, windy and cold. Plus I don’t want to be walking home with all of us having wet hair. Getting the bus is not an option because they barely run on Sunday’s and we’d have to walk 15 minutes to the nearest bus stop that would get us up there so we don’t really see the point. Meghan keeps asking if we’re going to go swimming soon and I’d love to say yes. I’m sure if I made sure I dried her hair properly before we left can put a hat on her, she would be fine. Both me and Meghan need new swimsuits before we go back again though. I’ll have to go and check out the sports shop in town next time I’m in.

Everyone says this, “I have the best kid ever.” You always think your child/ren is/are the best child that has ever been born and even along with the tantrums and the hitting and kicking and screaming, when they’re behaving themselves, all of that, which even though only happened half an hour previous, just totally fades away. Its probably a good job too because otherwise there would probably be a Parent Protection Agency and all us stay-at-home mums and dads would have been taken away for mistreatment by now. But I can honestly say that although Meghan has only just turned two and I know the worst is yet to come, pretty much 65% of the time, we have nice peace of quiet in my house.

Meghan is very independant. She likes to play on her own, go on Youtube on her own (dare you ask her to sit on your knee so you don’t break your back leaning over), draw on her own, read on her own, climb the stairs on her own and another long list of things. One thing you must do is tell her if the back door needs shutting. She likes to shut the door after Daxter has come in from being in the garden and if you do it, and she finds out that you’ve done it… well, just open the door again. Please. She won’t let me brush her teeth or wash her face for her anymore. I’m pretty sure soon she won’t let me wash her hair anymore. She tries to get dressed but it just doesn’t happen so we go through an argument most mornings. Its so good that she likes to do things on her own because I’m pretty much the same. I like to be left alone for a certain length of time during the day and I think she must have learnt that from me. Don’t get me wrong, during the day she has her moments where she wants to sit on my knee and won’t leave me alone and I love those moments. Like I tell Meghan, “Meghan cuddles are the best cuddles in the world!”

All this independance is lovely. I think its great that she wants to do things for herself all the time and would rather learn how to do it than have me keep doing it all the time. But why, oh why, will she not go on the potty? Being toilet trained is a very independant thing but she seems quite content to let me change her nappy several times a day even though she has some Peppa Pig knickers in her drawer (the novelty wore off after a week) and Elmo knickers on the way. I’m quite tempted to just throw the nappies away (well, more hide them from her) and just make her wear her knickers so she has to use the potty/toilet. I know thats very cruel but I’m about ready to hire someone just to potty train her so I don’t have to. She’s scared of both the potty and toilet which is the problem. Do you any of you parents out there have any tips on potty training?

I really need to do something with the house today. I’ve pretty much been doing okay with the kitchen up until last night where I just did nothing because I basically didn’t want to. The rest of the house has been neglected and I have loads of clothes to get dry as I did all the washing yesterday. My room isn’t a mess but its definitely not looking tidy and I’m getting into bed every night thinking it needs to be done. I’m going to make a list of everything I need to do here and then check it off as I go along. It should make me want to do it as its such a public list.

1. Dry all the laundry
2. Put all the clothes away
3. Change the sheets on all the beds
4. Tidy mine and Meghan’s rooms
5. Clean the bathroom
6. Hoover the hall, stairs and landing
7. Hoover the living room and damp dust everywhere
8. Clean the kitchen (including the table)

Its not a lot really especially since Alex’s mum is having Meghan for a couple of hours later on this afternoon. This morning me and Meghan are going to the library and going to the bakery for lunch. I haven’t been for at least two weeks and since I have a little bit of money, I decided to treat us both. I also need to walk Daxter but I think I’ll leave that until I take Meghan to Alex’s mum’s.

Do you know when some mornings you wake up and you just feel amazing? You actually like your body and you look in the mirror and like what you see? I had one of those mornings today. I like days like today because they rarely happen and on days like today, I actually dress up because I feel awesome about myself. Its nice to have days like today because you don’t really care what you eat. Because you feel so great, you don’t punish yourself every time you dare eat something slightly ‘naughty’ and so I seriously think on days like today, you should give yourself the day off and just eat what you want. I really need to do something about my weight but today I just don’t care. All the counting calories and thinking about diet pills is put on hold for a while. Its nice to feel good about yourself. I know I’ll feel this way all the time once I’ve lost the fourteen pounds I need to lose.

One thing I liked when I used to work in shops was the different types of retail pos systems I used. The first store I worked in had a really old till with not even a proper screen on it but when I worked at Tesco and then in Borders, we had really modern touch screen tills. The one in Tesco’s was really good. It was a petrol station where I worked and the tills had the capabilities to arm the pumps when someone took the petrol pump out of the holder. When I worked there I hated that job but now I think back to it, it was never that bad. I actually keep looking to see if any new vacancies come in but there’s nothing yet. I can always keep my fingers crossed.

Although I’m not doing too good being a single person (as in not in a relationship), I’m doing okay on my own in general. I used to hate being in the house on my own and would dread Alex going out for the night as I’d spend most of my time being scared and didn’t want to answer the door or even the phone. Now, I’m really enjoying the nights to myself. I don’t get worried about anyone breaking in anymore and if someone knocks on the door, I’m not too bothered and I will answer it. I guess its all part of growing up and also, becoming a parent. When you’re younger, you know your parent are there to protect you. Even if you live with them now, you still know they will look after you and you don’t have to take control in situations that hopefully will never occur. Being on the other side of relationship is rather scary but I like the responsibility. Dare anyone come in my house and threaten my family! They wouldn’t know what hit them! If you’d have asked me if I would have liked to be on my own about three years ago, I probably would have said yes as long as I have some sort of wireless security system installed!

Meghan loves to play games, either on a games console or online. I honest have no idea where she gets it from! I’ll end the sarcasm now. She loves to play Mario and asks for that game specifically either on the Gamecube (we haven’t upgraded to the Wii just yet) or on my NDS. The NDS is a bit of a problem right now. She has been ‘playing’ on it constantly for about a week until the other day I hid it. I’ll start by saying that the reason I hid it is the same reason I use the word ‘playing’ lightly. When Meghan plays on my DS she opens and closes it, deletes and overwrites my games and turns it on and off. She’s learnt how to turn it off and on and then select the game again so thats her favourite thing to do. I’m very anal about keeping my things looking new and having all her dirty, sticky fingers all over my screens just makes me want to cry. So yes, I hid the DS and told her Amy has it at her friends house. I’m a terrible mother I know. I’m hoping if I leave it long enough, she’ll totally forget about it and stop mentioning it. Its been about five days now and every time Amy comes over, she asks her for the ‘game.’ I’m guessing I need to give her another week. Or two.

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