Alex has another gig tonight at the Dry Bar in Manchester. He left at 2.30PM as he had to be there for 4PM to sound check. They’re headlining so they’re not on until around 10.45PM. We’ve ordered a mini bus as there’s quite a few of us going and it means we can actually get home. The last train is at 11.15PM and they’ll have only just finished so there will be no chance of us catching that last train. I’m really looking forward to it. Its a great venue and its awesome that they’re headlining. I’m taking photo’s again so fingers crossed the lighting is better this time. I think I got my best photo’s that I’ve taken at that venue.

After all that progress last week at nursery, Friday was terrible. She was tired when we got there and then I left pretty much straight away but she saw me go. She burst into tears but I left her for around five minutes to see if they could calm her down but it wasn’t working. I went back in with her for around ten/fifteen minutes and left when she was painting and wasn’t looking for me. I went back at the end of the two hours and she was in one of the women’s arms crying her eyes out. I think to be honest, she was just overtired. I’ve booked her in for another settling in session on Monday for three hours and I’m hoping she’s fine because my hours have changed and she’s now going to be there Thursday and Friday. I’m having second thoughts about working mainly because of the money situation (it may work out more expensive for me to work) and also because of Meghan.

I’ve told Alex if I don’t work I want another baby instead, haha.

I ran into HMV yesterday – no I’m not joking – as at the very front of the store, they had loads and loads of the complete series of the Mysterious Cities of Gold. You do not understand how much I used to love this show when I was younger. Its just… amazing. The box set is £43 which is a bit steep but I honestly don’t care because I really have to have it. If you haven’t seen it, you really should. Plus it has THE best theme tune ever. Don’t believe me? Look.

Meghan has been going to nursery every day since Tuesday and its going really, really well. Tuesday I stayed with her the whole time but after about fifteen minutes she wandered off on her own but kept coming back to check I was still there. Wednesday, Alex came with us too and we stayed with her for around fifteen minutes then left her for the remaining 45 minutes. They said she’d only gotten upset towards the end of the hour which was good. Today, I left her after five minutes and when I got back at the end of the hour, she didn’t even notice I’d walked in the room because she was busy playing with another little girl! I’m so pleased she’s settling in so well. It makes me feel a bit better about leaving her. Not much but just a little bit and that will do me . Tomorrow she’s going for two hours and she’s having her lunch there to. Fingers crossed we have no problems there but I don’t think we will. She’s doing so well that this point.

I got my hours that I’m doing next week a couple of days ago. I’m working Monday 12-4, Tuesday 9-6, Wednesday 12-4 and Friday 12-4. I’m looking forward to it but I’m also quite worried about starting work again. Its been over two years since I worked. I’m trying to be very positive about it because I know if I go into work every day thinking its “shit” and how I don’t want to be there, I’ll last three months if that and we don’t really have that option for me not to work. Well we do, but I’d rather have that little bit of extra money every month. Meghan’s only in the nursery on the Friday as Alex is off work Monday – Wednesday. She’s going to be there from 11.15 until 4.15PM. They want her there earlier than twelve because they have lunch around 11.30 and they’d rather her have lunch with them than interrupt it. Thats five hours. I don’t even get a break on a four hour shift so I can’t go and see her for a minute. I need to stop panicking. If they need me, they will phone me.

I’ve finally booked my tattoo. Finally. The main reason its taken me so long to get it is because I’ve been trying to decide which artist to go to. I’ve put my faith in Paul from Voodoo Tattoo. He’s done my other one and I’ve seen some of his work and its impressive. I was going to go to his dad Saz but its a two year wait. I would have waited but I’ve already waited a year to decide on what and who I’m going to. Its the first part of my half sleeve koi design. I’m having about three 2 hour sessions overall. This first part will just be the outline and maybe a bit of colouring depending on how much time its taken to do the outline. I’m really excited. Its booked for April 29th, two days before my birthday. I hope it turns out as I want it.

I have just had THE worst pizza I have ever had. The one night I order in while Alex isn’t here (he doesn’t like pizza) and I order somewhere new and it was horrible. I feel really sick now.

Anyway, Meghan’s in the nursery for an hour tomorrow from 10AM. I’m hoping it goes well. Obviously an hour isn’t going to be anything like when she’s there for a full eight hours but its a start. I’m hoping to get her in again on Thursday for two hours. Fingers crossed it goes well!

Alex’s gig last night went really well. They had good feedback from both gigs they did apart from the vocals not being loud enough but that wasn’t their fault. I don’t understand why Alex says that he’s crap all the time because he’s far from it. He’s improved so much since I first got with him and I think its about time he got some recognition for it. Lets hope this band gets further than his last band did.

Photo wise; they didn’t turn out that well. The lighting was really low but I managed to save some in Photoshop. I really need that new lens. If you want to take a look at them then go over to my Flickr account. I have just uploaded The Soul’s photo’s at the moment as I haven’t had chance to sort through the other bands photos yet.

I’m sorry for my lack of posting. I’m just lazy to be honest. I’ve not really been that busy so I have no excuse. I’ve started the day with every intention of blogging but not actually doing it. And now I’m here I have no idea what to write so I’m doing one of those cool bulleted posts. Enjoy!

• I went to bed at 7PM last night after I put Meghan to bed because I felt so sick. I didn’t get up again until 7.45Am this morning when Meghan woke up. I feel loads better after that long sleep though and it helped me stop feeling sick which was the plan.
• I had a dream about Carlos from Desperate Housewives last night. It was very sexy, although no actual sex took place. He’s never been the guy I liked from the show so I don’t really know where it came from. I really can’t wait for the new series to start again next Wednesday now .
• Alex has two gigs tonight. He might actually be on stage now to be honest. I’m going to the later one, leaving at about 7.30PM. I’m taking photos and for another band that are playing too. Lets hope I can pull some photos out of nothing for them because if I can then it might mean more work.
• We had Emelye from Thursday evening until yesterday evening. Its nice having her but I’m looking forward to the break!
• Oh, and Happy Easter!

One month searching for a job, two interviews and I have a job! I think I did pretty well considering it took Alex a whole year to find a permanent job. I’m not being big headed about it but I knew I’d done well in that interview on Sunday. I just got the feeling that I had the job there and then. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall after I’d walked out of the room to see what they said about me. My boss (weird!) called me about 6.30PM last night to let me know I had it and I was so pleased. I start in two weeks and I’m doing 20 hours a week on a pretty decent wage – more than I’ve ever earned at any other job. If I heard correctly, I’ll also get commission and bonuses if I meet targets. Before I can even get sent out a start date and a contract I have to do an online Apple course and get 9000 points by doing quizzes. It sounds pretty interesting and I’m looking forward to it. She’s sending me an email tonight with the information I need. I have to request a login name and password which takes four days to come through and then I have to pretty much get the points as soon as possible so I can let her know and she can send my contract out. Its quite scary now I actually have a job. The thought of it was fine but actually doing it is a different thing. I phoned the nursery up this morning and Meghan’s going in for a hour on Tuesday morning in which time I can fill all the details out and pay the deposit and administration fee. She’ll then have another two hour session before the following Monday when I start work and hopefully she’ll be fine. If she’s not then I can give her another couple of hour sessions to settle her in. I know she’ll be fine and I’m only leaving her 20 hours a week but thats a lot when I’ve been with her all day, every day since she was born.

I’m scared and excited but I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t stand being at home all the time anymore. It really depresses me and I need those few hours a week out to be myself.

Dear Meghan,

You’ll have to excuse me being one day late for this letter. I planned on doing it last night but then your Daddy came home early from band practice and it totally messed up my plans for the night. Anyway, better late than never!

I don’t really know how you’ve changed this month. This month has just been a lot of learning new words and learning how to climb into your highchair so you can get onto the window sill. You can now count up to six though which is good and I’m trying to teach you the alphabet. You like to draw with pens and crayons but I don’t like giving you crayons because you eat them.

I think we both watch too much TV but once you start going to the nursery, your TV time will drop which is good. Yes, Mummy’s leaving you in two weeks. Don’t think I want to leave you because I really don’t. I’ll miss you like mad but I’m going to try and spend as much quality time with you over these two weeks before I start work. I’m sure you won’t miss me as you’ll be having loads of fun with all the other children at the nursery. I really hope you settle in quickly though so it will be easier for both of us if you do.

I’ve still not started with the potty training yet like I planned to and I think it will probably be left a little bit longer now I’m going back to work. There’s no rush really. We’ll try in a few months, probably in the summer when it’ll be warmer and you’ll be fine running around with no nappy on!

I’m sorry this months letters a bit rubbish but I honestly don’t know what to say to you. Instead, I’ll just tell you that I love you loads and my first day back at work is going to break my heart but I know it will be the best for both of us.

Love, Mummy

I had my job interview at Apogaeum today. I don’t want to get my hopes up but it went really, really well. There were not one, but three people interviewing me and as soon as I got in there, I felt very intimidated. Its hard enough being interviewed by one person but three, well its hard trying to talk to all of them at the same time. I soon got into it though when they started asking about Macs and my web design and photography. I really think they liked me and I hope I made an impression on them. They said they would give me a ring by tomorrow to let me know so I’m really hoping I get it.

I have a couple of items I’m selling on ebay finishing tonight. One of them isn’t at a decent enough price than I would like it but at least I’m getting something for it. I’ve put a bid on a pair of O’Neill trousers which only have 15 minutes left so I hope I win them as they are really nice and I’m in desperate need of new trousers.

I made BBQ sausage casserole with mashed potatoes and carrots for dinner and, Meghan actually ate something! She ate all of her mash and carrots and she had a tiny piece of sausage! If your wondering what all the fuss is about then I’ll explain. Ever since we realised her allergy to fish (did I ever mention it? Well she’s allergic to fish, specifically white fish we think. They can’t test her because she’s too young so we have to just avoid it for now) she just won’t eat anything other than pasta, spaghetti bolognese and recently, cheese and tomato pizza. And you know, thats fine and everything but it must get boring. Most nights I’ve been making things and she’s not eaten anything so I’ve just given her two pieces of toast. Its nice for her to try something different and it’ll be so nice for her to sleep all the way through. When she’s not eaten a proper dinner, she’s been waking up around 4AM.

I’ve just recieved an email from a company I applied for about three weeks ago for a job interview. Its at a shop called  Apogaeum which sells Apple  products. I’m not sure whether I want to work there or not as I went in a couple of weeks ago and all people were doing was going in, playing with all the Macs – taking stupid photo’s of themselves and browsing Myspace. I’m going to the interview but I’m going to see how much I’d be getting paid if I got it and that will sway me one way or the other. Plus if you get Apple products as prizes for doing well, I might just have to take it haha. I know you get commission depending on how much you sell. I have never done sales before so it’ll be something different. I’ll just see how the interview goes. Do you know, its on a Sunday? Who wants to be doing interviews on a Sunday?

I should be going to Tumble Tots with Meghan in a minute but the weather is horrible. Its really windy and its pouring down. I have to walk there and its around 45 minutes each way. I’d rather us not go and not get really ill. She’s supposed to be having an immunisation today but I don’t think I’m gonna go to that either with the weather being how it is. I’ll have to see what its like after lunch and then decide.