Just a quick blog to let you know I’m in hospital still. I’m having regular contractions about every five minutes or so. My cervix still isn’t forward enough to have my waters broke so I’m here overnight and they will examine me again in the morning to see how I’m getting on. I’m in pain but nothing I can’t deal with.

I guess its the induction then. The braxton hicks (yes, nothing more than that) have near enough stopped now. I was in and out of the hospital this morning compared to Friday. I went in at 11AM and left at 12.30PM. They just put me on a monitor for an hour. The midwife didn’t think there would be much point in doing another sweep as the first one had no affect so I didn’t end up having one. If it wasn’t going to do anything, why should I have had one? Its not really something I enjoyed! I’m quite worried that it’ll be a long and very painful labour but if I go in with that in my mind, if its straight forward, it’ll be a nice suprise. I just hope I don’t have to go on a drip or end up having a c-section because I’m not getting anywhere. Fingers crossed. I’m going in at 8AM again and I won’t be coming out until I’ve had the baby. I’m guessing I’ll be home on Wednesday. I’ll post here as soon as I can. Wish me luck!

I’m off to pack my hospital bag of the last few bits and put the moses basket by the side of my bed. Her bedroom also needs a little bit of tidying and I want to do some housework before I go.

Its a Sunday morning, its 7.25AM and I’m online. Thats just wrong. I’ve been awake with Alex since about 6AM and I just couldn’t sleep so at seven, I gave up and got out of bed. I’m too uncomfortable to sleep. I know I won’t get much sleep once she’s born either but at least I’ll be comfy when I do sleep. Alex has just got up too. His chest is tight with his asthma but we don’t know where his inhaler is. I think he might have thrown it away by mistake when he was tidying up on Friday so we’re gonna have to go and root in the bin later because he needs it.

I’m ringing the hospital at about 9.30-10AM to see what time I need to go in. Alex’s mum is taking us and my mum is picking us up. I really don’t want to have another sweep but if theres any chance of it working at all then I’ll take it. I had contractions on and off all yesterday and I’ve had a few this morning. They keep stopping and starting and they still arn’t hurting so I’m getting a bit frustrated. She’s got about 24 hours to come on her own so here’s to hoping.

We have a new addition to our family – his names Snowflake. And he’s a hamster. He’s so cute. Alex went with Emelye and his mum to Pets At Home yesterday to get Dax’s food and I got a phone call asking if Em could get a hamster that would live here with us. Of course I said yes. He’s all white and he’s got red eyes . I’ll take some photo’s later when he’s awake. I was going to last night but he’d already been mithered and was qute scared so I didn’t think it would be a good idea sticking a lens in his face.

I woke up this morning really not wanting to go to the hospital because of the thought that they wouldn’t listen to what I wanted. I was very, very wrong. They were so nice. I got there at 7.35AM and got put in a bed. I waited until about 9AM before anyone came to see me but they did give me some breakfast – I couldn’t manage anything before I came, I felt really sick. At nine, the midwife came to see me and told me she’d read through my notes and saw that I’m not happy to be induced today. She told me it should be fine but she needed to get my OB first to confirm it. She came back with someone else (not my OB but I’ve seen her before) and she told me it was alright for me to come back next week. I had to be strapped up to a monitor for half an hour to make sure Meghan’s moving okay. It turns out I’m having quite a few contractions today which haven’t stopped at all since I got home although they have slowed down. I ended up being on it for about an hour as they were really busy this morning and sort of forgot about me. Anyway I have to go back in on Sunday to be monitored again and have another sweep. If I haven’t had her by Monday then I’m going in to be induced. At least at that point I will be fifteen days overdue and I feel a lot better about being induced at that point rather than now. I’d still like to avoid it but if I can’t then I can’t.

I finally finished Salem Falls today. Its only taken me two months. At least I got it read before Meghan was born like I wanted to. I started on Deception Point by Dan Brown – well not actually started on it, more like put my bookmark in the first page.

Suzi phoned me on Wednesday as usual and we’ve arranged for her to come and stay with us from 3rd – 6th November. She was supposed to be coming in about August but she had a few family issues so she couldn’t come. That weekend is the first week Emelye is away on holiday so its the perfect time for her to come down as she’ll have somewhere to sleep. I’m really excited about her coming but I’m worried about her coming so soon after Meghan’s born. It should be okay.

Send me labour vibes so these contractions get stronger .

I made an appointment with the midwife today so I could tell her that I didn’t want to be induced tomorrow. I’m glad I did. While I was there I asked her to do a sweep to see if that starts anything off and I’m no where near ready to have this baby. My cervix hasn’t even turned around yet so I’m not dialated at all. She said if I was to be induced now, I’d have a long labour which is what worries me. She supports my decision fully and told me to just go in tomorrow as I would be doing and explain that I don’t want it. She’s wrote it in my notes for them to see anyway. I’m glad she listened to what I wanted. She just said if they were okay with it – which they are going to be whether they like it or not – then I will just have to go in every day to be monitored. I don’t mind that. Its better than doing something I know I’ll regret.

Meghan’s not here yet. After I came offline and went to Asda with my mum the contractions carried on. It was funny walking around the shop because I felt so tight. As soon as I got to my mums, they stopped. I’ve not really had anything since. I think they were brought on because I had been out all day walking about. I’m going to take Dax for a big walk today with Alex and see if that starts anything, even though I’m really tired. Walking seems to be the only thing thats working at the moment. She does start kicking when I get in bed as if to say “Get up you lazy cow” haha.

I’m actually worried about how much she’s (not) moving. I only got up at 11AM this morning with me having such a rubbish nights sleep – I was up about three times and then woke up another four – and I’ve counted two movements up to now. I know I’m supposed to get ten kicks in a twelve hour period so if she’s not made it to that ten then I’m ringing the midwife. I think I’m just being paranoid because she used to be so active and now she’s not. It should be fine.

Alex and I threw a little family party for Emelye last night. It was really nice and I think Em enjoyed it. Its not her birthday until tomorrow but we did it tonight so that Alex’s friend John could bring his little boy – and just incase I’m in labour on her birthday which is what almost everyone thinks will happen. One of the books I bought her she already has but I’ve kept the reciept so Alex is going to swap it for me today. Three out of four isn’t bad . She really likes those books though so I made the right choice.

Well, Alex is in bed still (its 12.45PM) so I better go and get him up. Our sleeping routine is so messed up at the moment. We need to get it sorted out.

I think I had a contraction a couple of minutes ago followed by cramp in my right leg (thats probably the baby on a nerve). It’ll probably turn into nothing but here’s to hoping it will. I’m going to Asda with my mum in a minute to buy food for Emelye’s little birthday party that we’re doing for her tomorrow night and she’s going to get me a couple of pineapples to see if that works. I heard you have to eat like tons of it but its worth a try. Good job I love pineapple. I might not after tonight haha.

We had Emelye Friday through to Saturday night as usual and then Alex and I had Dave (from his band) and his girlfriend Louise round for a meal. It was really nice. Plus it was a nice change not to have to cook as Alex did. To be totally honest, when Alex mentioned us having them round last week I really didn’t want to. I was actually hoping the baby would come just so they couldn’t come round. But I suprised myself and had a really nice time. It was nice to do something a bit different.

I’ve been out most of the day today with Aimee and her cousin Sophie in town. I was going to get my haircut but after working out our money, I can’t afford to. I’m really upset that I can’t but we need other things. Aimee bought me some lunch (a gorgeous tuna salad) and a coffee at Rhode Island. She said its a present for me instead of her buying something for Meghan like everyone else will . I bought Emelye four books for her birthday too. We were going to get her a digital camera but we don’t have the money right now. She’s going to Florida in two weeks so I wanted her to have a camera to take photos with. I’m just going to get her a couple of disposable ones instead then at least she can take some. We’ll see about getting her the camera for Christmas. I feel so bad we can’t do more for her birthday (its on Thursday) but thats just the way things are right now. Its crap but theres not much we can do about it.

Well I’ve had another contraction but it wasn’t as strong as the last one. I think their only braxton hicks anyway because they don’t hurt, its just uncomfortable. Please keep your fingers crossed for me. As I keep saying, I do not want this induction if it can be helped.

I know there’s still four and a half hours left of today but she’s not coming today. I’ve had no signs that she will and I’m now guessing I will go on until the end of next week. I tried to mention to my midwife at my appointment this afternoon about not wanting the induction but she said “well you’ve got all week yet.” I’ve decided that if she’s not here by next Wednesday, I’m going to phone to hospital and change my induction date until the following week. I want to be induced only if its really necessary and its not really necessary next Friday. As fed up as I am, I’d rather wait an extra couple of days to see if she decides to come on her own. I didn’t want to be rushed and I was and that didn’t turn out well.

24 came this morning . Alex is cleaning up an old drum kit of his at the moment as he’s going to sell it but I’m hoping he finishes soon so we can start watching it. We watched Human Traffic last night. The last time I saw it was around this time last year but I didn’t really enjoy it. This time around it was a lot better. I think it has something to do with Danny Dyer. He looks so young in that film. I started watching Memoirs of a Geisha the other day but I never got to finish it. I ordered it off cable so I only had twenty-four hours to watch it and I went out forgetting that I did. I really enjoyed the hour and a half that I saw so I’m just going to buy it when I get the money. I can’t wait to see the end.

Tomorrow is the 5th. The day I thought that Meghan would decide today is the day. I’m changing my mind now. Nothing significant is happening so unless I’m one of those that it just happens all of a sudden, she’s not gonna be here for a while. I’m hoping I’m one of those people – like my nana and great-nana were. I’m really fed up. And I really want to meet her.

I can’t believe I’m due already. I can’t believe its October either. I’m not enjoying being pregnant anymore at all. The only thing I can say that I like about it is feeling Meghan move inside me. I’m trying to enjoy it as much as possible because I know its the last time I’ll ever have it. That upsets me a little bit. But then I’m so uncomfortable I can’t wait to have her in my arms just so I can put her down again if I want to. I’ve not had any braxton hicks at all but the past three days I’ve had a handful of contractions. They never amount to anything and they don’t hurt. Right now my back’s hurting and my stomach feels like I’ve done about two hundred sit-ups. I’m just aching. Plus my stomach has decided it can’t get any bigger without giving me a few stretch marks and I’d really like her out before I get anymore than I have now (only two but two more than I’d like). I think she’ll be here on Thursday. Its a feeling I have. Lets hope I’m right. I really don’t want to be induced and I don’t think I actually cope being pregnant for another two weeks.

In the past forty weeks I’ve put on 47lbs. I can’t wait to see how much of that is baby/water. As soon as I come out of the hospital I’m going back to eating ‘properly’ and I’m going the start exercising when I’ve been told I can by the doctor. I will admit that I haven’t been watching what I’ve been eating at all. I eat way too much junk food but the way I looked at it was, this is the only time in my life I can actually eat what I want and not have to worry about my weight. Its crazy because I’m actually back at the weight I was when I was sixteen before I lost it all. I’m hoping to get my body in better shape than it was before I got pregnant. I’m giving myself until next summer to get to where I want to be though. I’m being realistic about it.